Jules should have been investigated by DSS.

A friend of mine has a child who fell off of his scooter last night, and now has a lovely (read: ugly) bruise/scrape/war wound on his face. She sent me a picture of it (I will spare you the details and protect the identity of the not-so-innocent), and it reminded me of several instances of "war wounds" as a child. Specifically, when I fell off of my bike...

That happened to me when I was 6 or 7: I ran into a telephone pole while riding on my bike (don't ask). On my face, you could see the line that divided the sidewalk squares. It was the whole half of my face. GROSS-O!!!! And then, my mom tells me, a few days later, it swelled and turned black and blue...PRETTY!

Then... another time... at band camp! Oh, wait. No, I was only 5 or so: I stuck a bobby pin into an electric socket. Shocking! I got to wear a white glove on my hand that was *kind of* like Michael Jackson's glove (when he was still thrillin'), but no sparkles (I guess I had not discovered "glitter" yet =[ ).

And then! And then!! One time!!! I was roller skating in the house and tripped on the carpet/linoleum divider and fell on my wrist. It was broken of course, but my mom insisted that it wasn't b/c she kept yelling "look, she can shake her wrist back and forth!!" (while vigorously flinging my arm up and down) over my screams of terror/pain.

Oh, and you can't forget the time I dropped a bowl of boiling water (from everyone's favorite college staple: Ramen noodles) on my leg and had a second degree burn. I was only 7 or 8 at the time. I learned my lesson long before college.

I think I have more stories, but if I elaborate too much, my mom might be investigated by DSS...IS there a statute of limitations on these things???